Elizabeth, from Boy Crazy, recently posted some material so near and dear to my heart, that I feel compelled to share. She tells the story of her best friend Alison, whose firstborn child was born sleeping three years ago. I asked, and received, permission to cross-post, because Alison's words were so much more eloquent in expressing my feelings over our losses than I could ever hope to accomplish.
When she lost Annika, the people who helped her most were those "who were willing to sit in the dark pit of grief with me and didn't try to make it better, but rather shared my sorrow. I remember getting cards wishing me 'well' and 'better days ahead' and wanting to shred them. I didn't want to be better or feel better...I wanted to experience the depth of my sorrow...I think the best way to 'deal' with grief is to experience it for what it is. People who are willing to come alongside you during those times are the biggest gift, the only gift, in tragedy."
Finally, thank you to Glenda, for being that person for me.