My Fiery Little King

Happy 8th Birthday, Aurora!

2012-02-13T00:06:00.000-06:00

Love you, Aurora Bora, even when you wake me up at 3am!

It Gets Better

2012-02-01T00:40:00.004-06:00

Just because this is a cause dear to my heart, and I've been remiss not to share these links in the past...

It Gets Better: http://www.itgetsbetter.org

Trevor Project: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

One could argue, especially considering where I live, that I'm lucky to be who I am: white, Christian, straight, and married, living in a home that I own, and essentially being a stay-at-home mom. We are the epitome of the conventional middle-American household. But, that doesn't mean I haven't seen how difficult it is for those men and women who walk a different path. Yes, it does get better...but it could be SO MUCH MORE SO if the people in this country had the courage to stand up for what's right, or at the very least, keep their noses and their legislation out of other people's private business (and bedrooms). Did you know it's legal to marry your own cousin in Wisconsin (provided one of you is sterile - ha!) but illegal to marry someone of the same gender? Could it get any more ridiculous?

A wise woman once told me, "Be who you are, because you're awesome." She probably doesn't remember the exchange, but I do. And, at the time, it made all the difference.

And for her, and for everyone who has ever accepted me for who I am - socially incompetent and often resentful as I am - I promise that I will never remain silent in the presence of any sort of bullying. Whether by fists or by legislation, it's still wrong...and I'll not tolerate it.

Happy 7th Birthday, Jazzy Jasmine!

2012-01-29T00:02:00.002-06:00

Love you, sweet kitten.

Chuck SERIES finale

2012-01-26T03:26:00.001-06:00

Part of the Chuck cast on the final day of filming.

Photo Credit: (C) Warner Brothers Television, 2011 obtained by http://www.examiner.com/tv-insider-in-los-angeles/the-chuck-cast-on-finale-day-photo.

After five wonderful years, my favorite TV show of all time is coming to a close. Tomorrow night, NBC will air the finale two episodes of the series. I will be watching, ~~hopefully with friends and family~~ at home alone* at 8pm EST / 7pm CT. Thank you to the cast, crew, writers, WB, and NBC for 91 glorious episodes.

What's next for the cast? Here are twitter/imdb links to keep updated.

Mark Christopher Lawrence

Don't forget to watch the 2hr finale live!

*Alone, because we all got the stomach flu this week, and are thus under quarantine.

Circus Juventas Updates

2012-01-21T22:26:00.008-06:00

Now that Aidan has been taking classes at Circus Juventas in St. Paul for a year, I thought I'd post some updates on his progress. He LOVES going to class and is getting bolder and much more willing to try new things. He's also much stronger and has much better balance than when he first started.
Here is a video of a recent go on the trampoline - he's really perfecting "stick it!"

--
And, some photos!
Aidan is perfecting his bear walk during warm-up.

The tumble track is always a big hit.

Lately, so has the silks!

As we head off from circus class to our weekly trip to Coldstone, Aidan shows off his wild hair (and new car seat - thanks Auntie Lola!).

Fridays are awesome!

Winter in Wisconsin

2012-01-19T14:55:00.006-06:00

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from living 7 years in Wisconsin (9 in the Midwest), it’s that here, more than any place else I’ve lived, the weather is always unpredictable, often extreme, and very fleeting. Temperature swings of 60+ degrees over the course of 4 days are par for the course here, as are floods, snow storms, tornados, frigid temperatures, and blistering, baking heat. I've seen them all here, with photos to prove it! The hottest temperature to date (per what I've seen on the bank thermometer) has been 101F, and the coldest (air temp), -30F. I don't really want to think about what the wind chill was that day.

Up until the last couple of weeks, we've actually had quite a mild winter. Some days in December saw 50 degree beautiful, sunny days. The trouble is, when we don’t get snow in December, there’s nothing to keep the ground warm in January when the inevitable arctic air descends upon us.

Like today, when the temperatures crawled up to -12F by 8:30am, with barely a dusting of snow on the ground.

Unlike most years, when the snow just keeps coming (December 2010).

Sometimes, the temperatures swing upwards just long enough to give us some fabulous looking icicles...

...before dipping back down to frigid temperatures (January 2009).

One thing is for certain: regardless of the snow storm, the snow will drift at least 4-5ft in front of my front door, making shovelling a royal pain. This drift was over my head before I went to bed. I'm not sure how high it got because, by the time I got up in the morning, my friendly neighbors had already dug me out with their snow blowers (February 2007).

I suppose I've (mostly) gotten used to the intricacies of our crazy weather. The only thing that really bothers me, year after year, is being cold and still seeing grass. In my mind, if I'm going to be cold, I shouldn't be able to see my grass. Most years, Wisconsin is quite accommodating on the snow front, but we're seriously lacking this year. So, anybody want to send over some snow, I'm ready for it!

Fun times on the way home from preschool

2012-01-17T12:44:00.004-06:00

And the best part...I got to drive my sister-in-law's "big red van" which is, quite possibly, the coolest mom-mobile ever!

The Lone Blue in a Sea of Green

2012-01-15T19:00:00.004-06:00

[3:30pm]

[7:00pm]

Mom's New Toy

2012-01-15T13:31:00.002-06:00

The concept of "Thou shall not covet" is entirely lost on Aidan.

Go Pack Go!

2012-01-15T09:35:00.001-06:00

We're ready!

I will miss you, Great-Grandmother

2012-01-06T23:56:00.009-06:00

Born in northern Portugal on a farm/plantation known as "A Quinta dos Ingles" my great-grandma Rosa lived the majority of her life in Brasil. She died this week at the ripe old age of 96, following about a year of declining health and increasing pain. I've been rushing, for the last few months, to try to sort out my documents so that I could go visit her and the rest of my family, but I was too late. Though I am glad that she is no longer in such pain, I regret that I didn't have the privilege of seeing her one last time, and that Aidan will never know her, his great-great grandmother, apart from photos. My cousins were kind enough to pass along Grandmother's last message to me, which I translate below:

God bless you and our family; she ask god to always protect you.
She loves your son very much
even though she have not see him
but deep down in heart she knowns him.

Love and kiss to Chad and Aidan, from your great grand mother

Circa New Year's eve, 1998.

Memorial here: http://surfaceearth.com/2012/01/04/avo/

New TV!

2012-01-06T22:10:00.004-06:00

I think Aidan approves :-).

[Many thanks to all the people who made this possible, including: Tom, Luke, Dan, Erik, and especially Jon for advising us on what to get. This is just a bit of an upgrade from our early '90s RCA tube tv....]

RIP Sadie

2012-01-02T23:39:00.000-06:00

Sadie, my in-law's dog, was hit by a car Christmas eve night. We weren't told until just a few days ago, and we miss her. Sadie was growing increasingly deaf, blind, and absentminded: they think she just wandered away and never saw the car. To his credit, the driver did stop when he hit her and brought her to the house. He felt really bad, but I imagine a little black dog is an easy thing to miss in the dark. We don't blame him, and we're thankful he had the heart to stop.

I tried to explain to Aidan that "Sadie got hurt and the doctors couldn't fix her, so she died" but right now I think he still believes she's at the hospital and will get better. I don't think he understands...and I don't know that any 3yr old living a sheltered life really understands death.

But he misses her, and we do, too.

This is what being a Work at Home Mom looks like

2011-12-31T01:55:00.003-06:00

He finally fell asleep just as my shift ended at midnight :-).

Merry Christmas, 2011!

2011-12-24T17:17:00.000-06:00

May all your wishes come true this Christmas eve.

[Click here for previous Window photos]

Today is a Better Day

2011-12-06T00:14:00.002-06:00

I love my sweet boy, who asks to wear my favorite shirts to bed. Thank you for all the kisses and snuggles tonight...

...and for letting me spend a little time playing with my new computer :D.

!@#$%^

2011-11-30T23:29:00.004-06:00

Thanks to whomever hacked or reported my facebook page, causing it to be disabled. This is extremely annoying to me, especially since I had lists of friends' addresses there and no where else. And I've still no word from FB regarding WHY I was disabled with no warning, or WHEN IF EVER I will get my account back.

And yes, as of now I'm suspecting YOU, you narrow-minded, holier-than-thou b*tch. I know you probably don't read this, but still...it makes me feel better to write it anyway. I don't care what you believe, I am NOT a murdering Nazi for aborting my ectopic daughter in order to save my life. I'm here today for my son, my husband, and my cats (because, frankly, who else could possibly love them?)...and I'm happy to be here! I think about her every day and it still hurts like hell, the thought of what I did...but I made the right decision. And who are you to judge me for it? I hope you never have to walk a moment in my shoes.

And yes, I had a crappy day and I'm taking it out on my blog. This is about the time of month (fairly frequently) that my body likes to pretend it's pregnant, even though I know it's not. It's freaking annoying and getting awfully old. Plus, it's a reminder that, maybe had I had been given an OUNCE of compassion, or just a little support here and there, that maybe I'd have had the strength to try one more time. But never had I felt so alone and terrified, and ultimately I did what I felt was necessary for the good of my sweet, sweet little boy...who needs his mom healthy. I'm sure it was the right decision, but it still hurts.

No, I'm not over it. Yes, I've forgiven you (most of you). No, I can't just forget and act like it never happened. I can't because SHE DID HAPPEN. She existed, for a short time, no matter how much you'd like to forget about her. She was alive inside of me, and I felt her presence.

And this body of mine is still obviously trying to fill a void it can't.

And probably never will.

Belated post on our NJ trip

2011-11-27T21:29:00.004-06:00

Long ago...(in October)

...Aidan and I got ready for another trip to NJ. He gets to use his new passport!

We flew from MSP to JFK, then took the A Train into Manhattan. This was the first time either of us has seen the Freedom Tower, and it is much more impressive in person. It MIGHT even be growing on me. From Manhattan, we hopped on the PATH into Hoboken.

My good friend Laura and her fiance, Alex, were kind enough to host us for the evening. It was nice to see Mink again, and to finally meet Sable!

After a fun day at my 10th MKA high school reunion, (where, amazingly, I took no photos), and dinner with Tatjana and her sweet family, my dad and lil bro came to pick us up. Aidan LOVES his Uncle Carlos.

Aidan thinks his Grandfather is pretty fun, too. Love the white beard, Dad. Thanks for saving it for me!

Mimi, you look so beautiful when you laugh.

We took a Hay ride with more family...here is my awesome cousin, Katie!

Aidan loves his Nena. I love her, too.

Nena cooked me my favorite meals, and Grampa showed Aidan how to fish. Aidan remembered this pond from last time. Unfortunately, he also remembered how to fall in...again. This time, it was only one leg, and Grampa wasn't around to see it. I laughed. If there is water, my son will find a way to fall in. Every time.

AND after 3 years, I FINALLY took my son down the shore! Aidan kept calling it a lake - such a Midwestern boy. The waves kept him from temping the waters, for which I was grateful. *I* had no intention of swimming in the Atlantic in late October, thankyouverymuch.

Oh, and thanks to Ari for driving all the way down to the boonies in order to have a drink with me (my first time in a bar in over four years). It was so nice to see you again, and I enjoyed meeting your girl friend. We need to take pictures next time, because you have a lot more hair and a lot less ink in the most recent ones I have of you.

Mom, take my picture!

2011-11-19T20:56:00.001-06:00

Love you, sweet boy.

Remember What's Important

2011-11-18T21:00:00.000-06:00

My sweet boy couldn't make it through Chuck tonight, and fell asleep cuddled on my lap. He's never done this before and I was loving it! So, I relaxed and finished watching Chuck and Fringe before moving him to his room so that I could get to work. Sweet boy didn't wake up until almost 4am, at which point he went potty and then brought his Blankie and Elephant to come sleep the rest of the night with me. Being a Mom is awesome!

Taking care of Mom

2011-11-06T20:45:00.004-06:00

Sweet boy,

I wasn't feeling very well today. For the last week, I've been up late either working or organizing, cleaning, and decluttering the house, and the lack of sleep is wearing on me. And, the migraine isn't helping.

This morning when you woke up early, (the whole "fall behind" = more sleep memo being totally lost on your 3yr old self), instead of demanding breakfast, you snuck into my bed, gave me a big hug and kiss, and cuddled with me for over an hour. Every once in a while you'd give me another kiss and whisper, "I love you Mom.". After I told you my head hurt, you tried so hard to remember not to yell or make too much noise. You were gentle with me all day, never whined or asked for treats, and we spent the day playing puzzles, blocks, and watching movies. You even took turns choosing the movie. Without me even having to ask, you brought me my slippers when you saw that I was cold, and brought me a drink of water when you thought I was thirsty. You helped me pick up the toys, helped me make soup, put away your clothes, and were generally sweet and pleasant all day. You never once complained or whined.

So thank you, my dear sweetest boy, for such a wonderful day. You took excellent care of me and I am so very proud of you.

Love,
Mom

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T08:38:00.002-05:00

:-)

Life, Un-Photoshopped

2011-10-09T18:34:00.007-05:00

I really don't have anything to say that is either productive or kind, so instead of ranting and whining, I will share some snapshots instead. Enjoy!

Clara still doesn't quite know what to make of my make-shift photo studio.

These boys can be so sweet, especially when there's a promise of ice cream afterwards for cooperating...Meanwhile, Clara is actually loving all this attention. Really.

More kisses, because sandwich kisses are the best!

I really can never win when it comes to outdoor photos. This time my camera wasn't cooperating and everyone was cold, so this is the best we got. Oh well. Life, un-photoshopped!

Going for a Bike Ride

2011-09-30T00:53:00.004-05:00

Bye bye!

Ten years later

2011-09-11T08:10:00.004-05:00

(User Friendly Comics)

Ten years ago today, I was walking out of my morning class at NYU, cell phone in hand, a call to mom on my mind. I'd been in the city for about 2 weeks and had just started classes, so of course, like most college students, I was broke and needed money. Scowling down at my phone, I noticed it wouldn't connect, and I was mildly annoyed. Abruptly, I found myself face to face with a stricken, "older" woman who proclaimed, "Your phone won't work because we're being attacked by terrorists and we're all going to DIE!". (Note: In retrospect, she was probably all of about 40yrs old, but the world looks just a bit different at 18 than it does now at 28.)

I've met my share of unique individuals in the city, so at the time this woman's statement was amusing at best. I walked on, cursing my phone, when all of a sudden I looked around and realized that I was the only one not staring, dumbfounded, at the sky. You know in movies when the main character suddenly realizes something everyone else already knows....the slow motion realization...well, that was me. I had barely enough time to register that one of the Twin Towers was on fire when the second plane hit. At the time, I didn't even realize it was a plane; all I saw was the explosion, and I remember thinking:

1. Could that crazy woman have been right?

2. Where is my father?

CNN recently published a series of articles called Small Choices, describing some of the many "near misses" of 9/11. We've all heard those stories and many others. Possibly the most famous story was that of Howard Lutnick, head of Canter-Fitzgerald, who arrived late to work that day because he was taking his son to his first day of school, thus missing the fireball that blew through his office (that company lost ~75% of its WTC employees). One story that you won't hear on national news was that of my Dad.

At the time, my father worked for Credit Swiss First Boston. Though his office was on Madison Ave, it wasn't uncommon for him to be at WTC because CSFB had offices in Building 5. I never really paid much attention to his schedule, but that day I felt such a sense of dread as I gazed alternately between the burning towers and my dead cell phone. It took me ages to find a functioning pay phone, and when I did I couldn't reach my dad. I did get a hold of my mom, who told me dad was safe on Madison Ave, and that I should return to my apartment and stay out of the way. The line went dead.

But my dad was safe.

Unfortunately, someone else's dad wasn't. My dad was, in fact, due at the WTC that day at a tech conference to be held at Windows-of-the World. It was an exclusive and expensive invitation - normally something my dad would have jumped to attend. But this time he had more important things to do, and declined. The man who went in his stead was the only member of CSFB to perish. Ten years later, and I still think about him and his family.

Small choices, big consequences. Life, and death.

And here we are, ten years later: Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein are dead, along with thousands of other men, women, and children on both sides in a war that can never be won. We've blamed the entirety of the Middle East for the work of a handful of fundamentalists acting of their own accord - and shame on us for being so narrow-minded. I maintain, just as I have for the last decade, that we never should have gone to war. Ten years ago today the world wept for us Americans. Today, most of the world does little more than scowl. We were the world's biggest superpower on that day, and we could have chosen not to retaliate. It would not, as some have claimed, shown weakness. Instead, it would have shown class, grace, and maturity. Not to mention, with all the money we've spent on "The War on Terror" in the last decade, we could have completely weaned ourselves off foreign oil and pioneered green energy. You can build a lot of windmills for a trillion dollars! We could have certainly done a lot more "damage" in the Middle East by simply declining to purchase their oil - and without the bloodshed! As China (who, probably, would likely have been more than willing to pick up where we left off), is quickly reminding the rest of the world, there is more than one way to conquer a country.

We've spent 10 years retaliating against innocent victims, claiming we are right because they fought back. And what scares me the most is that, lately, it seems to me that this war has become more a fight between Christianity and Islam than about towers and terror. Both sides are being pushed to further extremes, fostering hatred, misunderstanding, and intolerance. This can't possibly end well. When, in history, has a holy war EVER ended well?

And what did they even expect to accomplish? Do you feel safer? I certainly don't, and I shutter to contemplate what this is teaching our children.

Shame on us.

Look Mom! No Training Wheels!

2011-08-29T23:29:00.003-05:00

This is what pure joy looks like to a 3 year old...

It took him less than 20 minutes to learn how to do this.

MAJORLY PROUD MOM!!!!!

And thank you to Strider Sports for making a bike that so effectively taught my son good balance on a bike. We bought Aidan's Strider bike in May of last year, and I highly recommend them.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-08-17T01:35:00.000-05:00

Terrible 3s and Laundry Baskets (v4)

2011-08-14T15:37:00.008-05:00

Aidan was never a "terrible" two year old. For him, he was most challenging from about 14-20 months. Back then, all he wanted to do was GO! GO! GO! and, with limited vocabulary, he was often described as a completely irrational little devil by his otherwise doting and loving parents - who, really, were just trying to keep him safe before he got himself killed or further maimed. Did I mention we had THREE trips to the ER during that time for stitches on his face? Enough said.

After that, his vocabulary picked up and he turned into an even-spirited, cooperative child who was really a joy to be around. I waited with baited breath for the "terrible twos" to begin, but they never came. Instead, I found myself raising a well spoken, miniature human who was easily reasoned with and generally happy to please. As I take my rosey-colored glasses off, I admit he wasn't "always" an angel...but for the most part, we sailed threw the past year - and I loved it. Best yet, I was aware that I was loving it.

And then he turned 3.

And, dear God, deliver me from this argumentative, pouty, if I ain't happy, then ain't nobody happy attitude. Who does he think he is? A teenager? Sorry buddy, but you need another decade on your shoulders to earn the right to torment me thus. I don't know what I need to do to get through to him, but I just hope he realizes that agreeableness will get him so much further than pitching fits before...before...before...oh, who am I kidding? I love my little man.

I just wish he'd stop fighting me at seemingly every turn. I know I'll look back on this time with a smile, but in the meantime, I need to find a new behavior modifier that works. I feel awfully silly arguing with a three year old.

More patience wouldn't be amiss, either. Yeah, lots of that, please.

And finally, as it is August, I give you our yearly Laundry Basket photo.

August 2011

(Click for 2010, and 2009 & 2008)

Hair Progress

2011-08-03T23:09:00.002-05:00

My last real hair cut was in December 2008, and I've been growing it every since. The last time I had really long hair was in the 6th grade. Back then, I was capable of little more than a pony tail, so when I decided to grow my hair this time, I vowed to learn to do more with it. My biggest triumph thus far as been learning how to French braid my own hair. Enjoy the progress!

2009-12-04

2010-11-26

2011-07-09

Lost Souls and Cassette Tapes

2011-07-28T22:09:00.011-05:00

Aidan took this picture of us, and it pretty much sums up what our life has been like over the past few months: Aidan and I playing on the floor while Chad researches building materials and such for the house we hope to build next year. What Aidan didn't get a photo of was me napping on the couch while he and Chad romp around the living room. THAT happens frequently, too. I'm not quite sure why the hot weather so effectively drains me of all energy, and I certainly don't remember being so affected in previous years. All I know is I'm quite ready for some cooler temperatures. I wish I could live in a perpetual autumn.

As July comes to a close, Chad and I also take a moment to remember a life largely forgotten by the rest of the world. It was July 25th, 2007 that we discovered that our first child had died. Emotionally draining but not nearly as traumatic as our ectopic baby, my miscarriage plunged me head first into the world of infertility and high risk pregnancies - a world of belly injections, blood, fear, and mercy. Four years later, and the pain of my first loss has dulled considerably. I didn't cry on Monday, nor did I feel particularly moody or detached. What I did feel was simply an overarching sadness that I was one of only two people who bothered to spare a moment to remember her. I often feel that what really holds me back from healing from all of this is that I'm dealing with it largely alone. No one wants to talk about dead babies, and certainly not to their grieving parents. Some even have the audacity to claim I shouldn't mourn a life that died so quickly after conception. But whether you like it or not, that life was real to me, and she was real to my husband, and we will never forget her. And, most importantly, we remember her sacrifice: were it not for her loss, we would never have this wonderful little boy...

...whose 3T pants from winter are already several inches too short...

...and who still loves chewing on his favorite blankie (thanks Mimi) and hamming it up for Mommy's camera. Er, excuse me, Mom's camera. Somehow in the last few months I've become *Mom* instead of Mommy. Surprisingly, I rather like it :-).

Seeing this picture always makes me laugh. Aidan loves having his hair done, usually in "bunny ears" or "horns", but sometimes a lone "whale spout". In anticipation of an 8hr drive to Chicago (thanks to Grandma & Grandpa for babysitting) in a car without a CD player, I found my stash of old mix tapes and decided to bring them along and see if they still work. Aidan was fascinated by the tape, and I couldn't resist the photo op. Now I just need to introduce him to Grandpa's eight tracks :-).

Included in the bunch: various mix tapes from friends, The Scarlet Pimpernel, Blink 182, A Perfect Circle, 3 Doors Down, Ani DiFranco, my beloved high "Escape from Bad Radio Music" Mix from high school...

...and the famous "CTY Mix" with such stars as They Might be Giants, REM, and Dr. Demento. I even found a Trance mix made for me by Ricardo. I wonder if he even remembers? Great songs...all made me smile, and singing them made me feel happier and more carefree than I have in a long time.

Make a little birdhouse in your soul...

Look what I got to do on Wednesday!

2011-07-14T21:44:00.003-05:00

Thanks so much to Heather for taking me on such an awesome ride, and Borkur for being such a good boy for me!

Kitties like Thomas the Train, too!

2011-07-12T00:50:00.000-05:00

Ahhh! The monster is getting me!

2011-07-06T12:53:00.004-05:00

Oh, how I love three year olds.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Aidan!

2011-06-27T12:22:00.003-05:00

And a very big THANK YOU to Marina and Theo for the car, and Grace from Coldstone in Hudson for the cake. We collected a ton of food for the Food Shelf, which we will deliver tomorrow, on Aidan's actual birthday. Thanks to everyone who shared in our special day!

Well done, NY!

2011-06-24T23:11:00.005-05:00

From:

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/25/nyregion/gay-marriage-approved-by-new-york-senate.html?_r=2&hp

But Mr. Grisanti, a Buffalo Republican who opposed gay marriage when he ran for election last year, said he had studied the issue closely, agonized over his responsibility as a lawmaker, and concluded he could not vote against the bill. Mr. Grisanti voted yes. "I apologize for those who feel offended," he said. "I cannot deny, a person, a human being, a taxpayer, a worker, the people of my district and across this state, the State of New York, and those people who make this the great state that it is, the same rights that I have with my wife."

And that, my friends, is the very point. If we truly believe, as is written in our Constitution, in the separation of Church and State, the way forward is clear. Baring one section of the population the right to marry while allowing it for another is no different than denying women the right to vote due to their gender, or African Americans due to their race. We gave all citizens over the age of 18 - regardless of race or gender - the right to vote a long time ago.
Now, it is time to let them marry whom they wish. While it is well within the rights of the Church to bar the sacrament of marriage to whomever they deem unfit (for whatever reason and however distasteful I find it), it is not a power the state should have.

I can only hope all states follow what Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont, DC, and now NY have started. I've been happily married to my husband for nearly 6 years, and I cannot imagine a life in which the government prevented our union. I am thankful for him every day, and hope this new bill in NY paves the way the happiness of many other couples.

Boys will be boys

2011-06-22T13:02:00.004-05:00

Then:

(August 2009)

And now:

(June 2011)

I've always wanted lakefront property...

2011-06-18T09:39:00.004-05:00

It should go without saying that we didn't make it to circus school today :-(

Also, why is it every time we start a landscaping project, Mother Nature sees fit to destroy it (at least) once? That's $50 of new wood chip floating away! Boo!

Circus at Home, and Circus Abroad for a Good Cause

2011-06-15T19:55:00.006-05:00

As I've mentioned, my son attends a circus class for kids ages 3-4 in St. Paul, MN. Circus Juventas has been wonderful to us, and Aidan always has a great time in class. I wanted to share two recent videos.

The first (pardon the orientation) is Aidan's first attempt at the Spanish Web.

(Note: Anyone know an easy way to flip this video?)

Spanish Web was, coincidentally, my main act when I did circus at French Woods Festival. Here's a photo my dad took of me c1998. The white on some of my fingertips are bandages from some of the nastiest rope burn you've ever seen.

Anyway, the second video is Aidan's first go at Low Casting - a low to the ground, half flying trapeze aparatus if you will. For not even being 3 yet, I think he did a great job giving it a go - what a brave boy!

Like what you see? Find out more:
Circus Juventas, St. Paul, MN: http://www.circusjuventas.org/
French Woods Festival, Hancock, NY: http://www.frenchwoods.com/

I also wanted to briefly mention a benefit one of Aidan's coaches, Chimgee, is having for her Mission Manduhai: she's working to raise money to help stop domestic abuse in her home country of Mongolia.

Sunday, June 26th

4 p.m. Tickets $20 each

at The Celtic Junction

836 Prior Ave, St. Paul, MN-55104

More about Circus Manduhai: http://www.circusmanduhai.com/www.circusmanduhai.com/Welcome.html
More about Mission Manduhai: http://www.circusmanduhai.com/www.circusmanduhai.com/Fundraiser.html

You can also make a tax-deductible donation: checks can be written to: “Heritage and Traditions” with “Mission Manduhai” in the memo line. Mail to 5509 28th Ave South, Minneapolis, MN 55417

Operation Smile Fundraiser

2011-06-03T01:26:00.003-05:00

http://operationsmile.chipin.com/operation-smile

Morning at Lake Harriet

2011-06-01T16:21:00.009-05:00

Chad, Aidan, and I spent the morning in Minneapolis today. First stop was 46 Patisserie where we had some delicious food. We spent the rest of the morning walking/biking around Lake Harriet, and playing on the beach and in the water. For my part, I did *not* partake in the icy cold water, nor did Chad venture passed his ankles. Aidan, seemingly impervious to the cold, splashed around up to his armpits.

I near died and went to heaven with these.

I paid dearly for eating this one, but it was sooo worth it!

Ice cold water

Preparing a "Drippy-Wet" sand castle

Aidan spies a pretty girl!

Chad's first "drippy wet" sand castle.

Beautiful Lake Harriet

Chad's second "Drippy Wet" sand castle, right before Aidan destroys it :-).

Aidan-zilla!

Chad the tree-hugger.

On Chocolate Cake and Pecking Birds

2011-05-24T22:42:00.003-05:00

Photos & ramblings from May 22nd, because a certain someone has requested more frequent updates on her favorite little person, and these represent a really happy day for me.

Dark Chocolate Cake - have you ever seen such a black cake?! I used the recipe on the back of Hershey's Special Dark cocoa powder as a rough guide, reducing the sugar significantly. The icing was the same cocoa powder, butter, some powdered sugar, and 2 cups of blueberries. Chad thought it tasted like biting into 72% dark chocolate, which is pretty much exactly the taste I was going for. No one has been able to taste the blueberries, but I can pretend that this is a healthy cake because it contains fruit :). I will definitely make this again.

Aidan is proud of the mess he's made.

I had some blueberry "juice" left over from when I defrosted the blueberries. Aidan loved having his own "winebeer" juice.

It goes without saying that he needed a bath after that cake.

And Finally,

Dear Pecking Bird,
Why must you incessantly peck at my window all day long? Are you tormenting my cats, or do you really think that if you peck long and hard enough, that the glass will miraculously disappear? You had better be careful: while I find you amusing, my husband does not. Right now, I am the only thing keeping you from his paintball gun. You've been warned.

Regards,
Mel

P.S.
We know where your wife and babies live.

Como Park Zoo

2011-05-20T07:24:00.000-05:00

On Wednesday, a friend of mine invited me to join her, her daughters, and a friend at Como Park Zoo in St. Paul, MN. We took her up on her offer and had a great time! We even got to bring Alan with us. Enjoy the photos :).

Alan gets to visit real giraffes!

The seals and sea lions were a big hit! They actually seemed to enjoy hamming it up for the kids (unlike the lioness...more on that later).

Captivated.

Nom nom nom...

The best way to end a trip to the zoo is to be covered in sticky ice cream

** So about the lioness...

I should preface this by saying that, while I greatly enjoy visiting zoos, I also feel bad for the animals in captivity. I recognize that zoos provide an invaluable education and conservation resource, but I never take for granted what I am seeing. To be that close to a gorilla or a snow leopard (one of my favorites) is a great honor. Were it not for zoos, I wouldn't have had the pleasure of seeing most of my favorite animals alive and breathing. Compared to the real thing, National Geographic just isn't the same.

Some animals seem to tolerate captivity better than others. The seals, sea lions, and otters, for example, seem fairly pleased with their lot in life. Other animals, like the lioness we saw in the indoor exhibit today, are clearly not digging the wards of screaming kids banging on the glass each day. The lioness got so ticked off, in fact, that she started growing at the glass. Of course, this only egged on the kids. When I left her she was snarling, clawing, swatting, charging, and biting at the glass - clearly agitated - while the warden was asking the kids to leave her alone. I can only hope they gave her a break from exhibition for a good long while.

Lioness-tormenting aside, it was a great day and we will definitely be back!

Dear Aidan,

2011-05-19T22:55:00.002-05:00

Today could have been a very sad day for me. Instead, it was a wonderful day.

And it was all because of you.

Thank you for making today one of the best ever.

Love,
Mommy

Dona Nobis Pacem

2011-05-19T06:41:00.001-05:00

Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi...

A year ago today, at this time, I was preparing to knowingly commit murder.

...miserere nobis.

At least, that's what most Republicans (and some Democrats) would have me believe.

Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi...

I sat in a hospital room, alone, while I waited for surgery - waited for my doctor to take from my body a child I so desperately wanted. Chad stayed with Aidan and our nephew. He was alone, too.

...miserere nobis.

A year later, and I still cannot express to you the guilt and grief I feel every moment of every day. When people do their very best to act like this life never existed, it only adds to my misery. There is no outlet for my grief.

Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi...

No one to remember her but my husband and me. No one to mourn her but us. No record that she ever existed, except the hole burned into our souls, and the scars on my belly.

Dona Nobis Pacem

I always told myself I could never have an abortion, but there I was, sitting in that hospital room, waiting. Of course, this particular abortion was medically necessary. My daughter was growing in my tube - ectopic - and there was nothing anyone could do to save her life. I could either wait for the tube to burst - at great personal risk - or I could remove her tiny body from mine in a relatively safe procedure. Part of me wanted to wait, to punish myself for my body's failure. I wanted to hurt physically, if only to numb the pain I felt inside. But of course I couldn't do that, not with my sweet Aidan to mind, and my husband and kitties. My daughter was not meant for this Earth, but I was still meant to be here. Wife. Mother. Kitty slave. And so, God help me, I closed my eyes, went under anesthesia, and woke up empty.

Dona Nobis Pacem

I murdered her. She was alive with the beginnings of a heart beat, and I murdered her.

And my insurance company paid for it. And my insurance premiums were paid with pre-tax dollars. So when the bill from the hospital came, we could afford to pay it.

Deo grátias.

I was always adamant that it was neither my place nor the government's to tell a woman that she couldn't have an abortion. I know many people view abortion (all abortions) to be the murder of a unborn child, and the idea that any of their tax dollars might be going to such an abdominal act sickening. I get it, truly I do. And honestly, I'm fine with writing it in the tax code: no federal dollars spent on abortions. It's not like that's anything new: the Hyde Amendment takes care of that. It's all the other crap that scares me and makes ME feel ill. H.R. 3 says:

- Flex spending dollars can't be used to pay for abortions.
- Premiums for insurance plans that list abortion as a covered benefit can't be written off.

This goes beyond protecting people's beliefs, and it's easy to see where it will lead.

- No insurance companies will cover abortions.
- Having an abortion will get a lot more expensive.

Which, I suppose, is what they want. These representatives (though who they are representing, I have no idea, because it sure the hell isn't me) want to tell me which medical procedures I should have and which I shouldn't by dictating where I can spend money that I earn.

And I'm sorry, but that's goes a bit beyond their job description.

They may believe that writing this into the permanent tax code is going to prevent more abortions, but I assure you that they are wrong. These changes will serve to do little more than cause already grieving women more strife by putting them thousands of dollars in debt, while increasing the number of dangerous abortions women will have without the aid of a trained medical staff in a sterile environment. We'll be back to where we were in the decades before Roe v. Wade.

And women will die because of it.

And their babies will, too.

I therefore urge you all to consider the ramifications of such a bill - the broader picture of the precedent these pieces of legislation represent. Who do you want to draw the line between medically necessary and murder? Yourself and your doctor? Or a bunch of (mostly male) strangers with no medical training whose beliefs may or may not be your own? Let alone the issue of rape (don't get me started on that one). Protecting unborn children at the expense of their mothers is not good legislation, regardless of the reason. And it certainly doesn't belong in the tax code.

Because the woman sitting in that hospital bed is me. She's everyone who has ever been a mother - however briefly. And I promise you, her suffering goes beyond anything you could ever know, regardless of what brought her to that bed.

Isn't it enough?

Dona Nobis Pacem

---

More info:
http://www.npr.org/2011/05/05/136011925/bill-to-bar-abortion-tax-subsidies-passes-house
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/04/hr-3-not-actually-about-t_n_857420.html
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/05/05/973235/-GOP-criminalizes-abortion-via-the-tax-code-UPDATED

War Against Women:
http://www.care2.com/causes/womens-rights/blog/lawmaker-says-women-should-plan-ahead-in-case-of-rape-since-he-carries-a-spare-tire/

Happy Mother's Day!

2011-05-08T22:55:00.003-05:00

We're #NotANielsenFamily too!

2011-05-06T17:05:00.006-05:00

My household is #NotANielsenFamily but we still love #Chuck! Watch this video, help spread the word, and lets have us a Season 5.

This campaign aims to show NBC that even though we're not counted in the ratings, we still care about the show, and still watch live. So far several advertisers (including Hyundai, Super Shuttle, and Diet Pepsi) have responded positively to our #NotANielsenFamily twitter campaign. The nice folks at Super Shuttle (http://www.supershuttle.com/) are even giving us fans a 10% discount through July 31st (discount code CHUCK). Isn't that nice? As Aidan would say, I THINK SO!

So I am trying to do my part, whenever I can...

with the help of friends...

(thanks Jon & Emily)

and family...

(thanks Chad). **

How about you???

Also see http://www.wegiveachuck.com/.

** Please excuse Chad's weather-identity crisis - people do strange things in Wisconsin when winter refuses to let go it's grip once it's time for Spring. I'll leave you with a photo of my front yard, taken on April 16, 2011.

Yes, that white stuff is, in fact, snow. It's gone now, but snow in April is just plain wrong. But I digress.

Go Chuck!

Eight years today...

2011-05-05T08:40:00.003-05:00

...and I'm still missing you, Mom.

Her last words..."I don't want to see you. I don't want to talk to you. You're not my daughter anymore."

And I'm still sorry.

A New Can of Worms

2011-05-02T21:43:00.006-05:00

I was there almost a decade ago when it happened.

I was still there, six months later.

I was even there a year later. [thought, those pics don't seem to be working...]

My father is alive today, but this man is not.

And yet...

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that"
~ ~~Martin Luther King, Jr.~~ Unknown

War does not determine who is right, war determines who is left.

Boys Will Be Boys (funny video)

2011-04-15T16:31:00.005-05:00

I don't know what it says about me that it took almost four months for me to figure out how to upload this video properly, but here it is:

Aidan & Alan were tearing through the house playing while Chad & Luke talked about snow blower engines. They were completely oblivious as to what their little boys were doing.

Enjoy!

"Ohh, you like it! It's tasty!"

2011-03-30T22:14:00.004-05:00

I wish I could share with you some photos of today - or a video - but I can't. Today was one of those days when I was living so much in the moment, that I didn't have time to capture it on film. It was also the sort of day that will forever stick in my memory, such was the fun we had today.

We've had a lot of birthdays this month, so I guess it has been on the boys' minds. After all, who wouldn't want an excuse to eat cake and ice cream, and open presents?

So today, seemingly out of the blue, Aidan and Alan decided to develop a new game. They called it, "Birthday." Well, perhaps "decide" isn't the right word, since I have no idea how this all started. All I know is they were really quiet for quite a while, and then all of a sudden came running to offer me birthday cake.

The boys, with no input from myself, made a birthday cake out of a small ball, a roll of duct tape, and a bunch of magnetic toys called Magformers. They then raided the silverware drawer for spoons and forks, and proceeded to serve "cake" to each other, and then to me, for over an hour. The Magformers served as the slices of cake, which they shared eagerly, and insisted that I use both a spoon and a fork to eat. However, the center of the cake (the ball inside the roll of duct tape) was apparently sacred; I received quite a scolding for attempting to eat it :). As Alan's mom and dad arrived home, I asked the boys to show off their cake. Oh! What delighted squeals as they rushed to show off their game!

While the boys have always had (often elaborate) games involving running, fencing, and wrestling, this is the first time I've noticed them develop truly cooperative game, with no outside help, that didn't involve physical play. I didn't detect the slightest bit of bickering, either. An hour of cooperative play, without fighting, for a three year old and a not-quite-three year old? Amazing!

But then again, as a devoted Mama and doting Auntie, I always think they're amazing.

Happy 8th Birthday, Athena!

2011-03-23T03:57:00.001-05:00

I love you, Beena!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-03-16T08:40:00.000-05:00

Happy 8th Birthday, Gaia!

2011-03-15T04:04:00.000-05:00

I love you, Bunny!

Spring Photos

2011-03-13T14:04:00.003-05:00

Alan Robert (3 yrs), Clara Jean (3 m), and Aidan Ryan (2 3/4 yrs)

Census Meme & Suicidal Turkeys

2011-03-11T00:42:00.004-06:00

Census in the states happened long ago, but Marina inspired me to write this post, since I never bothered last year.

In March 2011, I am...27, happily married to a good man, with one living son, age 2.5, and two daughters not meant for this earth. I have four kitties, and live in a townhouse. We spend most of our free time designing the house we will build on our 2 acre plot of land. I play often with my son, when I'm not working part time for a dentist. Every Wednesday, I spend the day with my niece and nephew. I am badly out-numbered, but it is always exciting! My husband works nights, and he'll only be home 4 full days this month (plus another 4 half-days), so I am very lonely.

In March 2001, I was...17, and a senior in high school. I was accepted early decision to NYU and was enjoying my final weeks before graduation. I had just finished the winter musical. I spent almost two weeks this month in Spain with friends and teachers from school. I spent most of my spare time going out on adventures with my current boyfriend. I remember feeling free and happy.

In March 1991, I was...7, and living in a small house in urban NJ along with my parents, grandmother, and older brother. I attended a Catholic school, and didn't have many friends. My dog, Tara, was my best friend. My parents fought a lot, and I spent most of my time daydreaming or playing with toys in my room, alone. But, I don't remember being lonely.

In March 1981, I was...not born yet! But, my husband was about nine months old and just starting to walk so he could chase his older brother around :).

---

Suicidal Turkeys

These turkeys tried very hard to make me hit them with my car. Either that, or they were trying to land me in the ditch. They are lucky they didn't end up in my in-law's deep freezer.

Mel: 1, Idiot birds: 0.

Happy Birthday, Alan! (and Laura, Tom, & Roger)

2011-03-05T22:55:00.009-06:00

Since Chad will be working all but 4 days this month, we decided to have an early celebration for all the March birthdays. The star, of course, was my nephew Alan, who will turn 3 on the 13th!

Mmm...that looks tasty.

I made TWO ice cream cakes from scratch. Vanilla strawberry cheesecake and my own Rocky Road mixture (chocolate, vanilla, fudge, chocolate chips, marshmallows, chocolate cheesecake, and walnuts). I learned that whipped cream doesn't make a great frosting...will have to think of something else next time. Oh well!

Make a wish, little man!

If you fall asleep at your own birthday party, we will cover you in balloons and take your picture.

Luke joins in the fun.

We played some cards.

Alan enjoyed playing with his new toys with Mom & Dad.

Kathy watches a new Preschool video with Aidan & Alan. Rectangles are captivating!

Alan is devilishly cute, even when he refuses to smile for my camera.

I feel I should also mention that there were some other birthdays that didn't get celebrated today. My dad and stepmom will also celebrate birthdays later this month. March 4th was also my due date for the first baby I lost back in 2007. Sigh.

Wordless Wednesdays

2011-03-02T03:41:00.000-06:00

Greatest Valentine's Day Date EVER

2011-02-17T23:22:00.001-06:00

Bones episode 6x14 - the Bikini in the Soup

Source: http://www-tvline-com.vimg.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Bones-ep614_BikiniInTheSoup-sc32_0380.jpg

Great Chuck Video!

2011-02-14T22:28:00.003-06:00

Chuck has a message for his niece, Clara.

And speaking of nieces named Clara, this pretty lil girl is already two months old!

And finally, the Trio of Trouble, all together now!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy 7th Birthday, Aurora!

2011-02-13T03:54:00.000-06:00

I love you, Sweetness!

Go Pack Go!

2011-02-06T21:54:00.005-06:00

Chad was drafted to work this Saturday and Sunday night, so Aidan and I had our own little Super Bowl party at home.

A Jersey girl I shall always be, so thank you, Packers, for sending the Steelers packin'. Go Pack Go!

I feel I should also mention that I quite enjoyed the Tron-themed Black Eyed Peas halftime show, and so did Aidan.

What's for Lunch?

2011-02-04T13:57:00.001-06:00

Sliced onion & garlic - large pieces because Aidan likes them that way
Fresh carrots, pealed and chopped
Green Beans (frozen, French-cut)
Spinach (frozen, chopped)
Cooked gemelli pasta

Normally I use Barilla Plus pasta, but Gemelli is still my all-time favorite shape (as seen in the above photos). I cook the veggies over low heat in whatever stock is handy, then mix in the cooked pasta. My favorite seasoning is actually a pork seasoning my sister-in-law's parents get in their hometown of Decatur, IL. I'm seriously obsessed with it, and will put it on almost everything. While I love fresh veggies, obtaining them in Wisconsin during the dead of winter isn't without its challenges (and just where are they coming from?) so most of the time ours come frozen. I definitely appreciate my fresh, garden veggies much more come summer!

Time to eat!

I will make a variation of this meal (with whatever ingredients are handy) almost every day for lunch when Aidan and I are home. He LOVES it, and it's healthy for us! For a treat I will sometimes grate cheese on top. I have no idea how much of each ingredient I use, because I rarely measure anything unless I'm baking or cooking rice.

Aidan-sized portion, which I regularly refill 2-3 times. Must be a boy thing.

It's also worth noting that this particular version was put together almost entirely by Aidan. He chose the ingredients out of the freezer and fridge and helped me cook the veggies and measure the pasta.

Am I the only mom who removes her toddler's shirt before a meal to cut down on laundry?

(almost) Wordless Wednesdays

2011-02-02T20:40:00.001-06:00

{2pm}

{8:30pm}

January 21, 2011: A Story in 3 Photos

2011-01-30T01:15:00.000-06:00

The End :-)

Happy 6th Birthday, Jazzy!

2011-01-29T03:48:00.002-06:00

I love you, Kitten :).

Fabulous Fridays watching Fringe on Fox!

2011-01-28T16:56:00.003-06:00

Make sure to join me tonight at 9e/8c on Fox for an all new Fringe! It's another Fabulous Friday watching Fringe on Fox!

Missed any episodes? Watch previous episodes here: http://www.fox.com/fringe/

Need to catch up? Try Fringepedia

And make sure to keep an eye out for the Observer!

Photos borrowed from Fringe's Facebook page, found here:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?profile=1&id=15576613667#!/Fringe

We Give a Chuck

2011-01-24T04:08:00.005-06:00

It's no secret that my favorite show is NBC's Chuck. I even dressed my son as Chuck (or Greta, depending on who you ask) for Halloween last year. So it should come as no surprise,then, that I'm promoting the show, nor that I'm hoping for (at least) one more season. With that, have a look at the following site by clicking the banner, or by going here: http://www.wegiveachuck.com/.

I failed miserably to kick my spoiler habit, so I might as well also give credit to my favorite (and most accurate - thanks) source: Chuckgasmic

While you're at it, why not tune in tonight at 8e/7c on NBC for a new episode? I promise it will be awesome! Missed an episode? Head over to nbc.com and watch the last few. You won't regret it!

Guilt

2011-01-16T00:37:00.001-06:00

Baby girl, you should have been with me by now, cuddled on my chest, in your Daddy's strong arms, or on your big brother lap, with his tender lips pressed atop your little head. The very cells in my body still ache from your loss. A tender breast...a phantom kick....some days, even after all this time, I would swear I was still pregnant.

But then I remember.

And I am still so, so very sorry.

I miss you.

Look Mama! I drinking beer!

2011-01-15T11:41:00.002-06:00

Bless this child for keeping me so entertained during such an otherwise dark weekend.

Aidan loves his circus class!

2011-01-14T15:17:00.005-06:00

For those of you who don't know, St. Paul, MN has a youth circus, holding classes for ages 2-22ish. Their facility is top notch, the coaches are great, but the best part is they have a toddler program. This winter, thanks to Grandpa Tom, Aidan gets to be a part of it.

I really didn't know what to expect. Actually, I assumed they'd mostly be doing tumbling. I was SO wrong. They do everything! Aidan is half way through the program, and he has already experienced: lyras (aka hoops), silks, swinging trapeze, German Wheel (Aidan's special favorite), balance beam, tumbling, juggling, tumble track, and trampoline. Being that it's a toddler class, I pretty much stay with Aidan the whole time. Not all of the parents do, but Aidan wants me there, so I oblige. Bless him, he always wants me to take a turn, and he has no idea how much I really want to! I miss circus even more than I miss dancing and horseback riding. Fortunately, they have a class or two for adults...which I might just have to enroll in next time we have some extra cash.

So, wondering whether Aidan enjoys himself? Take a look, and decide for yourself:

Aidan on the tumble track 1/7/2011

Aidan on the trampoline 1/14/2011

Anyways, I really need to borrow Kathy's video camera to get some better clips, but in the meantime, enjoy these two, taken by my phone. It's just too much fun not to share. Thank you Circus Juventas for making our winter so much fun!

Want to learn more? Visit the Circus Juventas website: http://www.circusjuventas.org/

Belated Christmas Photos of Alan, Aidan, & Clara

2011-01-09T21:52:00.003-06:00

Love

Lets take a sleigh ride!

...and an outtake, because it was funny

I can't believe I forgot to post these! I take pictures of the grandkids throughout the year to make sure Kathy & Tom are well supplied with pictures of their favorite tiny people. This was the first time, though, that I had THREE subjects.

It makes me sad, though, to know that there should have been four. My due date is fast approaching and I am just dreading it.

WikiLeaks is at it again

2011-01-04T22:32:00.008-06:00

Thanks to my friend Joe for sharing this. It was too funny not to post!

Fear

2010-12-29T18:48:00.002-06:00

"'What do you fear, lady?' he asked.
'A cage,' she said. 'To stay behind bars,
until use and old age accept them,
and all chance of doing great deeds
is gone beyond recall or desire.'"
--Aragorn & Éowyn, Tolkien

Happy Christmas!

2010-12-25T01:00:00.000-06:00

from Aidan & Athena

Wordless Wednesdays

2010-12-22T12:48:00.000-06:00

Gotta love Walmart

2010-12-22T00:19:00.006-06:00

My MIL and I took Aidan shopping today for some last minute holiday items today. She was driving Aidan around in one of those giant carts, while I stood nearby, when an older gentleman asked whether Aidan was my baby brother or my son. When I told him Aidan is my son, he told me I didn't look old enough to be a mother.

He then guessed my age.

At 17.

Never mind the ring on my finger, or the two tiny white hairs I refuse to pull but take great pains to hide under my (increasingly frizzy) mop of brown hair. Never mind that I'm 27.5 years young.

Bless him, this dude truly thought I was still a teenager!

I can definitely handle walking through life perpetually looking 10 years younger.

Clara Jean - first photos

2010-12-15T12:37:00.005-06:00

Cara Jean meets big brother Alan, cousin Aidan, Grandma, and Grandpa (and Auntie Mel is taking the pictures, of course)!

These last two bring about strong emotions for me. I debated keeping them to myself, but here they are. I should be 36 weeks along this week. Soon, Aidan was supposed to have his own baby sister to hug and kiss. Not a day goes by that I don't think about the babies I lost, but most especially my last little angel because of how and why she died. But at least now he has a baby cousin to love on, and I am grateful of the lengths to which my in-laws have gone to include him - to give him a little bit of what I could not.

Love you, sweet boy.

Clara Jean is here!

2010-12-13T22:11:00.003-06:00

My new niece:

7lb 3oz, 20in long, born at 8:14pm, 9 days overdue! Everyone is doing well! More pictures tomorrow when I get to meet her :).

A Tale of Three Decembers

2010-12-08T13:51:00.003-06:00

2008

2009

2010

MadTV parody of NBC's Chuck

2010-12-08T09:51:00.001-06:00

Enjoy this video until someone pulls it. I love MadTV!

A Snow Day

2010-12-05T18:53:00.003-06:00

Fasting labs

2010-12-02T23:02:00.003-06:00

Triglycerides: 50
HDL: 60
LDL: 70
Blood sugar: 84

My husband is SO jealous!

And in an unrelated note, my sister-in-law is still pregnant. Apparently her little girl feels it necessary to be fashionably late. I'm glad I didn't bet money on the date of her arrival (I was predicting before Thanksgiving)!

Today I am thankful...

2010-11-26T21:45:00.004-06:00

...for my boys...

...and warm sun shinning through big windows

:) <3

Tis the week following deer camp, and I smell like death.

2010-11-23T23:17:00.005-06:00

This past weekend was the deer hunting opener (for guns, anyhow - apparently if you want to shoot the deer with a bow & arrow you can do so a few weeks sooner). For those of you who don't know how this works, I'll summerize it for you: A bunch of guys wake up before dawn to sit up a tree - motionless - for several hours in hopes that a deer will walk by close enough to shoot. Sometimes it's raining, sometimes they have snow, but it's always freezing cold; no matter how warm the month of November may have been, Mother Nature always makes sure these men have the crappiest weather for the gun opener. Some men are brave enough to "drive" the deer towards those awaiting in the trees. For this great honor, they at least get to move around to gain some warmth...at the risk of getting shot. When not driving deer or freezing their asses off up in the trees, they drink, gamble, smoke, curse, and basically do all the things they normally wouldn't do in front of their wives. Sounds like SO much fun, right?

Ahem.

So why the hell would I want any part in that?

I wouldn't.

Except, they made one, big, mistake.

Instead of giving me the run down of what Deer Camp is all about, the men in Chad's family simply told me I was absolutely not welcome at the cabin during the deer opener because I'm a girl.

A girl? Excuse me?! Oh no you didn't!

That was 7 years ago and it still hits a nerve. My daddy raised me to believe that I could do anything a man can do (and do it better). There are few things that get my blood boiling more than gender classifications...especially when they involve other people attempting to keep me from doing things because I have boobs instead of balls. The rational part of me tells me to just leave it alone, but sometimes I want to be there anyway just to spite them. Though I didn't make any attempt to prevent him from going, Chad decided to stay home this weekend (which of course was good for me). He didn't need to stay home, but I appreciated it nonetheless.

In the interest of full disclosure, I should state that I'm fairly certain that if I had to kill my own meat, I'd probably become a vegetarian. I'm the sort of person who cries over road kill (pathetic, I know). Of course, that makes me a complete hypocrite, too, because I will happily eat the meat once somebody else kills it. And processes it.

Except for the last few years, I have, actually, helped process the meat. The only part that really bothers me is when they skin the deer. The first year I watched them do this, I had nightmares for a week. It's like taking off a tight piece of clothing...except it's skin. It reminded me a little bit too much of Silence of the Lambs. *shutters*

So anyway, my day started out by getting locked out of the house by Aidan while trying to load the car. Instead of unlocking the door, he decided to go back to watching TV while I froze my ass off, screaming at the door. I eventually got the key, but by then I was livid. And fasting, because I was having blood tests drawn at 10:30am. Ask Chad how cranky I get when I'm not eating. It's really not a pretty sight.

Why the guys decided to process the deer today is beyond me. Chad and Kathy were working, Laura is 38 weeks pregnant (and in charge of keeping the boys away from the deer), so that left me, Luke, and Tom. To be fair, the guys did most of the work. My job was to stand in the coldest corner of the garage and grind all the meat not fit for roasts or steaks into hamburger (twice over). I'm thankful they heated the garage a little bit, but for someone like me who is always cold, it really is never enough. Aside from being cold, though, it was mostly fine. I got it done, and even managed to eat venison steaks for dinner.

But I'll never look at play dough the same way again.

And I needed to shower twice to get the smell of death out of my skin.

And there are no pictures, mostly because I didn't want to bring my camera anywhere near all that raw meet.

And I thought my step mom might never forgive me if I posted a photo of one of her beloved God's creatures hanging upside down by his hoof being cut apart by two men brandishing sharp knives and saws :p.

I solemnly swear that i am up to no good...

2010-11-20T21:35:00.000-06:00

My friends Kayla and Michael are just about the coolest people in the world. They are also very kind and generous. So generous, in fact, that when they found out Chad and I had no babysitter for the Deathly Hallows premier, they offered to drive all the way to our house to watch Aidan while we went to the movie.

Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!

Mischief Managed, indeed.

Wordless Wednesdays

2010-11-17T14:55:00.000-06:00

Kitty Slippers (in reverse)

2010-11-14T15:36:00.001-06:00

Wordless Wednesdays

2010-11-10T11:27:00.000-06:00

Making Baked Ziti

2010-11-09T20:45:00.004-06:00

The other night, Aidan was playing with his trucks (as per usual) and I decided I needed help making baked ziti (trust me, I know). So, off to the kitchen we go! Apparently the only thing more fun than playing with trucks and tractors is helping Mama cook :).

Gridlock

Mixing ingredients

Making sure everything tastes right

Cooking sure is messy!

Final Product!

Up North Photo Journal

2010-11-02T22:14:00.018-05:00

Once upon a time (two-ish weeks ago), we decided to take Aidan up north. Going "Up North" in Wisconsin is kind of like going "Down the Shore" in NJ: you stay out way too late, party, eat crappy food, mock the locals, and when the trip's all done, you need a vacation to recover from your vacation. The last time we were up north was back in September of 2008; Aidan was an infant, and the weather was warm and sunny. This time, Aidan is a toddler, and the weather was cold and rainy. Oh, and I forgot my camera so all we have are crappy phone photos. I love my Droid X, but I don't believe for a second that those 8MP are doing me any good.

Friday

Before we left, I made sure to take pictures of the kitties so Aidan could say night-night to them before bed.

Here's Aurora pretending to be indifferent about our impending absence.

Here's Gaia begging us to stay.

Here's Jazzy purring because she's getting some attention.

And here's Athena already simmering a grudge because she doesn't get to come with us like she used to when she was a kitten and we were childless. Next time sweetheart, I promise.

So off we go passed the famed Hwy 8 towards Minong. We arrive without mishap, and Aidan is excited for our adventure. The first thing he says as he exits the car? "Mama, ride 4-wheeler, please?" How the kid knew there were 4-wheelers up there (when none were in sight) is beyond me. I swear the kid can sense them. Cabin? Check! Woods? Check! Ohh, must be a 4-wheeler around. Score!

Here's what we find in the cupboards.

And here's what greets us on the opposite wall. "I'm sorry, Aidan, but you cannot ride the deer."

So instead, Aidan makes himself a slide out of the cooler.

Saturday

Amazingly, Aidan slept well in the bunk room. He also had enough sense to be quiet when he woke up. So quiet, in fact, that it took us a while to realize he was awake and helping himself to his version of breakfast. whatever, we're on vacation. Fraggle Rock on the tele and Mama gets to sleep in. Oh, and Chad made pancakes. Bliss.

AND then it started to rain. AND then we decided to go 4-wheeling anyway. No pictures, of course, since it was raining, but I did take some when we got back.

Here's Aidan gazing so lovingly in the distance at Daddy putting away the 4-wheeler. "4-wheeler go night night?" Yes, dear.

Here's Aidan trying to catch rain on his tongue.

And here's me looking like a drowned rat. I can't believe I'm even posting this.

Here's Chad, also soaking wet.

AND here Aidan, still standing in the rain long after Chad and I had gone inside to dry out. "Ride 4-wheeler again, please?"

Dinner time was exciting. Chad and I had a hankering for cheeseburgers, but we didn't have any buns. Chad's solution? The MEGA BURGER.

He used the foil to flip the burger. We also toasted the bread.

Chad was very proud of his creation, and honestly it was the best "burger" either of us had ever had. Mmmmm.

After dinner Aidan and I played our favorite game of chase me...until I chased him into the back of the lazyboy and he gave himself a black eye. Woops.

So we decided to play cards, since that was a safer game.

But he soon grew board, and went back to jumping off the cooler again.

Sunday

As promised, we took Aidan 4-wheeling one more time before leaving. It rained on and off, but I did get two pretty pictures to finish off the weekend.

This picture would have been even better had I remembered my real camera, but you get the idea. Black eye aside, it was an awesome weekend and I definitely want to do it again sometime.

Ideally with Athena and without the black-eye part.

Meet the Nerd Herd's newest member!

2010-10-30T10:01:00.004-05:00

And a happy & safe Hallowe'en to all!

(Special thanks to Scorpian Shoes and Chucktv.net for the shoes!)

The Right to Eat Healthy Food (and to know from where that food came)

2010-10-25T21:00:00.006-05:00

This article is among those that really gets my blood boiling:

http://hartkeisonline.com/2010/10/11/family-farm-ordered-to-destroy-50000-pounds-of-cheese/

Where would you rather your milk and beef came from?

A family farm like Morningland Dairy?

Or a CAFO?

But then again, this is a country where we believe genetically modifying a pig to produce poop low in phosphorus is better than simply feeding a pig what it was meant to eat, so maybe I'm in the minority here. As a rule, I don't think selective breeding or GM (which are not the same thing) are intrinsically bad. However, going through the trouble of genetically modifying animals simply so we can further exploit them is, in my humble opinion, unethical and cruel. We need more farms like Polyface Farms, and we need them badly.

If you're gotten this far, please consider donating. Without help this family is going to have no chance of taking on the government.

And for a real eye-opener, I suggest watching Food, Inc. You can watch it instantly on Netflix.

Chuck vs. the A-Team

2010-10-18T10:27:00.000-05:00

By far the best fanvid I've EVER seen. Pure genius!

Tonight, 8pm EST, on NBC. Be there!

Get Over It!

2010-10-16T16:58:00.003-05:00

I need to preface this post by saying that I generally find the use of vulgar language repulsive and pointless. That said, this video has a point to make, and for as long as this country is pathetic enough to consider it an issue, I will set aside my values to share it.

This is the bleeped version, but it's still painfully obvious what's being said SO please be warned that this is not a child-friendly video.

Banning gay marriage is discrimination, plain and simple. Discrimination is not only morally wrong, it is also illegal in the United States. It would be wise of us to keep this in mind.

Autumn Family Portraits & Wacky Weather

2010-10-09T23:55:00.006-05:00

Last week we had our first frost; the bank thermometer said 33 degrees on my way to work at 9am. But today, Mother Nature decided it wasn't quite ready for winter, and graced us with an 80 degree, sunny day. Surprise! We were baking in these sweaters, but at least I finally got my autumn pictures taken (thanks to the in-laws for lending us a tripod, since ours went MIA).

Weather in October has always been unpredictable. Last year, we had a really warm week in early October, too, only to subsequently acquire our first layer of snow cover less than 2 weeks later (which stuck around until mid-March). Anyone want to bet on the date our first snow fall? Last year it was October 12th!

A Walk in the Woods

2010-10-04T00:04:00.002-05:00

(We did a lot of riding, too!)

Happy Birthday, Grandma Tootie

2010-10-02T21:56:00.002-05:00

Today was your birthday, and we tried to be happy, but we still miss you terribly. They're having mass for you at St. Henry's in Eau Galle tomorrow, and Aidan and I will be there to celebrate your life. Kathy told me we don't need to come - that most people are too busy anyway - but we think it's rather important. We will never be too busy to remember you.

Autumn Apple Picking

2010-09-29T09:46:00.004-05:00

Photos taken at Fireside Orchard & Gardens, Northfield, MN last Sunday.

A successful Chuck Monday with Aidan!

2010-09-20T22:16:00.005-05:00

Aidan (age 2) and I had SO MUCH FUN watching Chuck this evening on NBC.

We're definitely going to watch Chuck again next Monday...

...but only if I take his picture first!

Sorry the videos are a bit dark; I don't really like being in bright, artificial light (especially at night). Chad often complains that I'd live in a cave if I could. Considering that's where we met, I'm not sure that's a bad thing ;).

At 8e/7c we will Release the Casey on NBC!

2010-09-20T08:50:00.001-05:00